Joke: Hard Working Duck

A duck walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".

And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"

And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"

Joke: The Lying Contest

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said,

"All right, give him the dog."

(via Miss Celania)

Here's a riddle for you

Totally "borrowed" from Daisy the Curly Cat:

Question: Why are cats very bad storytellers?

You might think it is because the books are very boring. But that is not the correct answer.

Start thinking, NOW! You have 30 seconds to figure out the answer, and you will be timed on this big clock.
(Yeh - to a cat, it's a clock!)

Do you know the answer yet?


Click HERE to see the answer.

Joke: Sheep Fries

There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with his farm ... especially, the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the Females.

He hired a Frenchman who didn't speak much English, but was a very good worker.

After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the severed, "parts", when the sheep farmer yelled,

"No -- Don't throw those away -- "My wife fries them up and we eat them ... they're delicious, and we call them 'sheep fries."

Later that day, the French hired-hand came in for supper and, indeed, he thought that the "sheep fries" were very tasty.

The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and that evening they all settled down to another supper of "sheep fries".

On the third day, however, when the sheep farmer came in for supper, he asked his wife where the French hired-hand was.

"You know, it's the weirdest thing," she said. "I told him that since there weren't that many "sheep fries" this evening, we were also going to have French Fries ...
and he ran like his ass was on fire!"

(via Phils Phun)